I NEED A HUG

I NEED A HUG
November 3, 2008
5:01 PM

Dear Me,
My heart is beating so fast. I’ve been farting for the last two hours. Haha! My mind is in shambles. What have I done today? I hope I did something today. I get this awful feeling that I’ve wasted my time today. As always, when the day starts I ask for the same things over and over again: strength, will and wisdom. I could not remember the day I started this prayer. I just do it every time I’m troubled and have to do something important for the day. “Lord give me strength, will and wisdom. Please Lord please.” Saying this calms me. I know something is wrong when I have the urge to ask for strength, will and wisdom.

I haven’t written personal stuffs for a long time. I’ve been writing something else, something factual, something creative and something not me. I’ve been busy, really, really busy. My mind’s been busy that I’ve forgotten how to write. My life’s been so busy working, studying, and worrying. It’s been so busy that I’ve felt so alone and so unhappy.
When I become stagnant or you might say idle few years ago, I thought about being busy, being visible, and needed by everybody. I thought it would finally make me happy. It didn’t. It just made me a sadder person. You know what I would really, really like right now? A hug. Just a hug. I’ve forgotten what it felt like to be hugged.